Imagine being able to increase your popularity, earning power, and your friendships… just by picking up a book and READING it.
In today’s book of the day ‘How to win friends and influence people’, Dale Carnegie compiles his life’s work into a single book designed to teach the average person how to:
- Make friends quickly and easily
- Increase popularity
- Increase your earning potential through networking
- Approach arguments
- Win people to your way of thinking
- Apply modern psychology principals to daily conversations
It’s no mystery that most people like to hear themselves talk, studies have shown that the average person tends to think they are more interesting, popular, and skilled compared to those around them.
In other words, people crave the feeling of importance. “Make someone feel important and they will think well of you. Diminish someone’s importance and they will resent you.” -Dale C.
To make someone feel important, you have to appeal to their unique interests. Find out what the person in front of you wants and probe at that interest with open-ended questions, keep asking yourself “what is this person passionate about?”.
At this point, you might be asking yourself “How does this help me? I don’t want to kiss up to another person just for them to like me”. Carnegie says everyone has something they can teach you, and you benefit by figuring out what that is. Use that curiosity to develop a genuine interest for what the person across from you has to say.
Here are 3 ways to make people like you:
- Smile more. A smile is highly contagious, it can cruise past the conscious mind and create a reflex at the unconscious level. This is why it’s especially hard not to smile back when you see a friendly face.
- Be a good listener. The best way to get a person to talk is to listen, don’t just listen to formulate your response but genuinely care about what people have to say. Talk in terms of their interests and you’ll never have an awkward conversation again.
- Learn their name. Carnegie says to remember that a person’s name is, to that person, the sweetest and most important sound in any language. It’s so powerful that people are more likely to be attracted to someone who shares their first initials (Name Letter Effect). Use their name as often as possible during a normal conversation, this will help you remember their name and will make them feel that much more important.
Hands down of the best books you’ll ever read, I can say with extreme confidence that this will be one of the top 3 books you read in your lifetime. Dale Carnegie’s teachings have withstood the test of time for decades and will continue to do so for generations.
The need for recognition is built into our DNA and as long as we continue to be emotional beings, there will always be a shortage of ‘listeners’.